If Only...

If I had the power to change myself to be whoever I thought I should be or just to change something about myself, I think first and foremost I'd like to not be so forgetful. I forget everything, little things, big things, important things, unimportant things. It's really awful sometimes. I have walked into a room to look for something only to forget what I was looking for the second I get in the room. I can't remember appointments, I never remember to take medicine (which is why it's a good thing I'm not prescribed to take anything....yet.) It is very frustrating sometimes, wishing I could remember to do all the things I am supposed to do.

Then I would like to be able to grow things. I have a terribly black thumb and as much as I love trees and flowers and plants, I cannot seem to be able to keep them alive. I tried growing a garden once and I was so excited when I had seeds actually starting to bud and turn into little baby plants. Then I would plant them in the garden where I would promptly forget to tend them. There is my forgetfulness once again. I love plants and I am very grateful that my boyfriend seems to be very good with them. That and the house I'm buying had some very well-established rose bushed and trees that don't require my attention to continue to thrive.

I would also like to be able to help people more. Not all people, mind you, but those that really need it. I know many people that want help and don't need it and many that need it and don't want it, and even a few that need it, want it, but can't get it. I would like to have the ability to help those truly in need. To assist the friends and family and even aquaintances that are in true need of help.

There are many things about myself that I would love to change, to make different, better. I have tried to make myself a better person, and who's to say whether or not I've succeeded? Who has the ability to look at me and say, you really are a good person? What it the definition of a good person and who decided that was the definition? I guess I will just ahve to be satisfied with who I am at the present, and continue to work to make myself into a better person by my own standards.

This post was written for the Writer's Workshop hosted by MamaKatsLosinIt.

Disclaimer on the pictures:

With the exception of the logo directly above, all images are of me, myself and I. The first image was taken at the birthday party of my friend's daughter who just turned 3. That is why I have a rainbow slinky on my head and shiny star shaped sunglasses.

The second image was taken at the small get-together we had for my boyfriend's birthday. He was doing something that required threatening with a knife.

The third image is from Halloween. Don't ask me what I went as (a lot of people did ask "What are you supposed to be?") I'm a freak and it's acceptable to let it show on Halloween so deal with it!

The fourth image was taken while I was finishing up getting ready to go....ummm...somewhere. I forgot where we were going. (See first paragraph of this blog!)

For those of you who know me...enjoy the pictures of me, cause these will possibly be the last images of myself that I post to my blog. :)